The Age of Al-Gorism

By Timor Brik

As thousands migrate inland and head to shelters to escape a destructive force, the fear of death is what keeps them alive. This may sound like the Armageddon, but if we are to believe climate reports, which state that rising temperatures will induce the mass extinction of species, then as Stephanie Tunmore of Greenpeace puts it “an apocalyptic future” is only 70 years away. But don’t be too alarmed, there is good news according to Tunmore of Greenpeace; “There is still time for an energy revolution…and (to) create a carbon free economy….”

Most of us probably drove to work today, but how many times have you used the bus this year? What, you’re reading this on the bus? Then to you I apologize; but for the rest of us what are we doing to preserve a world that will be habitable for future generations? As Americans demand Hybrid Hummers and vegans tell us that eating meat is more harmful to the environment than driving a car, awareness of the problem is increasing. I am not a scientist and will not deny or promote the global warming issue, but I will attempt to highlight what Glenn Beck calls the “Climate of Fear” that surrounds the topic.

These days it is hard to ignore the global warming threat, but it is even harder to ride a bicycle to work. We are outraged by the destruction of the environment, yet continue to consume at an alarming rate. But has a fear from bloodthirsty communists turned into a fear of plastic bags? As cities like San Francisco seek to eliminate plastic bags altogether, the founding principle of democracy is being eliminated. That principle; choice! It is what separates democracies from repressive regimes whose names I will not mention here – cough-North Korea-cough! Although most people credit Gorbachev and Reagan for bringing the Cold War to an end, others have said that the Soviet Union collapsed because of poor environmental policies. In other words, an arms race would still be going on if Soviet citizens did not make the fatal mistake of not recycling.

South Africa, where I grew up, recently enacted a law which made people pay for their plastic bags at grocery stores. At the time it sounded like a good idea to curb increasing pollution problems in the country but somehow they expected me to remember to bring my pre-purchased plastic bags to the store during an impulse shopping spree. I’ve learnt my lesson though as the mounting pile of hardly-used bags in my garage look like the remains of the Hindenburg.

Organizations and individuals are making people feel guilty for using old fashioned Edison bulbs instead of potentially-poisonous fluorescent ones. Again, the eco-friendly South Africa had an answer. Unlimited fluorescent bulbs were made available free-of-charge to homeowners if they exchanged them for their old light bulbs. After installing them in my house I was almost rushed to the hospital as my mother flipped the switch, the strange brightness of the light almost sent me into an epileptic fit. My best friend called me to ask if my house looked like the inside of a NASA laboratory as well, or if he had just lost his vision. I reassured him that he would get used to it eventually. “Eventually” has yet to come for him after more than a year.

In 1950 Senator Joseph McCarthy stood in front of an audience and proclaimed that the government was infiltrated with Soviet spies. This Red Scare of the Cold War era, referred to as “The Age of McCarthyism” by Ellen Schrecker, lead to a destruction of civil liberties and 5^th Amendment rights as Americans feared imprisonment as a result of deviating from conformity. It contributed to a huge civil defense budget and anytime someone mentioned the word “sharing” they were labeled a communist. 50 years later former Vice-President Al Gore stands in front of his audience and proclaims that the global warming debate is over and Greenland will no longer be allowed to sit in on United Nations meetings as it will no longer exist. Whilst Al Gore polls the Poles; determining if ice melting in an area with almost no atmosphere is normal, Americans continue to debate the advantages of switching their SUV’s for Segways. The United States has gone from accumulating Uranium-235 during the Red Scare to accumulating Ethanol-85 during the current Green Scare in The Age of Al-Gorism.

Articles on the Greenpeace website criticize companies such as ExxonMobil for continuing to “fuel global warming while refusing to support solutions to the problems.” And even Apple cannot escape the persecution either, (a company whose board includes Al Gore) as the advertisement proclaims; “I love my Mac. I just wish it came in green.” Finally, one of my personal favorites; “Kleercut - wiping away ancient forests,” an obvious poke at Kleenex tissues. So after watching the semi-biographical “An Inconvenient Truth on How I Lost the 2000 Election” I learnt that we are headed for impending doom unless we start flying in corn-powered airplanes, which as an Economy Class passenger I’m not too eager about. It is becoming ever more difficult to deal with the different scares we are told to fear. You cannot get on a plane without taking off your shoes and passing a TB test and if you’re flying to Asia, make sure you don’t contract SARS or the Bird Flu or bring back contaminated doggy treats. And if temperatures fluctuate and coastal regions are flooded, take comfort in the fact that you might be sharing a shelter with someone carrying the West Nile Virus or even the now infamous Y2K Bug. But Greenpeace might have a solution of biblical proportions to global warming. Not too long ago Greenpeace parked a giant Noah’s Ark in the center of Brussels, inside was an exhibition on the causes of climate change and solutions to the problem. I’ll give you a moment to process what you’ve just read… Now that you’ve recovered from the shocking irony in the fact that GREENPEACE BUILT AN ARK, let me say in their defense that it was constructed from FSC timber. The Forest Stewardship Council is an organization which seeks to find solutions to problems of bad forestry and reward good practices – practices which apparently include building an Ark!

Despite his magical powers and elaborate special effects, Harry Potter cannot escape the post-consumer recycling frenzy either. Scholastic International, the U.S. publisher of the Potter books announced that it will use paper that contains 30% post-consumer waste fiber. Author of the books J.K. Rowling was pleased to hear that “magical creatures like unicorns and centaurs” would be saved in the forests of Muggle world. What a relief, imagine a world without unicorns and centaurs. I’m sure that paper factory workers that lost their jobs found solace in the fact that these endangered species were rescued.

The bottom line is that we have one Earth and must preserve it, but not through commercial-profit generating solutions like carbon credits and Oscar winning DVDs. Each person must realize the impact of their actions and attempt to find a solution without impeding on their or others’ freedoms. So before everyone joins in the Green Revolution, familiarize yourself with the facts, be open to differing arguments and remember that the choices you make today affect the future.